5kg, 10kg and 15kg were all relatively easy. Sure they hurt a little and felt a little uncomfortable at first but they were easily achievable.
It’s at 20kg that things get difficult.
The first day on 20kg starting that timer and pushing down feels like facing a giant never ending staircase. Ten minutes feels like an eternity.
There’s a tingling of pain in the tip of my stump and a throbbing in my hip and it’s a struggle to keep enough pressure so the needle on the scale remains at its target.
By the second session on the second day I feel hot tears of frustration spring to my eyes.
I still have two more weight increases to go before I hit my goal and if it’s this hard at 20kg how will I cope at 30kg?
I am also worried about the constant dull ache in my hip and what this will mean when I start walking.
But like a river that cuts through a rock, not through power but persistence, I keep going and by the third day it’s so much easier to push down and by the fourth it’s a synch. I can easily maintain the weight and the pain has subsided.
When I hit 25kg it’s horribly hard and it hurts but I grit my teeth and keep going knowing that it will get easier each day.
It’s quite a rewarding thing seeing this tangible result of the bone strengthening.
I guess it’s not that much different to putting up your weights at the gym. At first you can barely lift the new weight but through perseverance before you know it you’re increasing again as it has become too easy and you can barely believe you used to struggle. At first you feel like you feel like dying and then you feel reborn.
The day I hit 30kg, my goal, euphoria floods me. I have done it, I have reached my target.
But boy is it tough. My hip crackles with pain during each session and throbs for hours after, as does the area around the metal rod. It hurts more after than during which I guess is the same for any tough gym workout.
By the third day it is still not any easier, in fact it almost seems a little tougher and the pain in my hip has increased.
I’m just glad that I lost 22kg this year as I’m not sure I would be able to weight load any heavier. It is also a blessing for my hip as it has more of a chance of coping with the new way of walking if it doesn’t have to lug around excess weight. Despite the fact that with this operation, weight fluctuations won’t have such a devastating impact on the fit or comfort of walking, it will be more important than ever to maintain my weight and keep it in the healthy range.
But despite the pain, it is positive as it means I am ready to be fitted with a leg and ready to take my first steps as a cyborg. The countdown to walking has begun.
I have set up my weight loading station in the lounge room in front of the huge windows that face the garden and the neighbours at the back of our house.
I am standing at the window weight loading when I see them milling around their driveway. I pray they don’t look up for if they do they will see me simply standing there looking at them. That would be a bit awkward to explain.