I have been home two days and I am eager to get back to the gym and do cycle class.
Dad is less enthused.
He expresses his concern about doing the class so soon after getting out of hospital and is worried I will push myself too hard. He knows me well.
I just want to get back to normal.
“Well you are 25, I suppose you can do what you like but I’m telling you I am concerned,” he tells me.
It is later that as I am getting changed into my gym gear I realize it might not be the best class to do as with the metal sticking out of my leg my stump will be longer and I worry about the right pedal knocking my leg. I can be careful but if I am pedaling away focusing on getting speed up I might forget and at speed a knock would cause excruciating pain. I can’t help it, I cry a little. I so desperately want to be back to normal, getting sweaty and going hard at the gym. I have been doing my daily weights but very little cardio and all I want is to be able to do that.
I’m able to weights on the machines just fine and decide to attempt the stationary bike. It is harder than a spin bike but I manage ten minutes before switching to the cross trainer.
Overjoyed, I can do it! I build up some speed and while I am just under my normal performance I’m not doing too badly. But boy does it feel tough and I can’t quite push myself as hard as I normally would. It has only been two weeks since my last cardio session but it is frustrating how quickly I have lost my fitness.
I should feel proud of my achievement, especially since a lady in the change room says I am an inspiration, but I leave feeling frustrated at my decrease in fitness.
I think it is just a day of frustration really. I am really missing my old life, hearing about all the Christmas parties, interviews and cool events I have missed out on is making me homesick.
My hip has also been aching a little at night from the increase in weight loading and I’m a little nervous what this will mean when it comes time to walk. I’m trying not to panic as Dr Al Muderis has repeatably warned me I will likely get hip pain but it could settle down after my muscles adjust and get used to the new way of walking.
I am also finding my new hardware a little impractical in clothing. It won’t always be this way once the leg is actually attached but for the minute I find my clothes snag on it. I’m not sure if it will always look a little odd in clothes around the knee. But the trade off is while I might lose some points in the looks department, I will gain function and that is the most important thing when it comes down to it.
Rehab is still a few weeks away but it pays to be prepared so I hit up Lorna Jane for some shorts. Every occasion calls for a new outfit right? I’m sure Lindsay Lohan stocked up new accessories before her rehab stint.
I have never worn shorts as I don’t like to show off too much of my artificial leg but I need to wear something that will show off my knees so the leg can easily be attached and the physio and prosthetist can easily see my stump and make adjustments to my leg where possible.
Knowing I will soon be walking and dressed for the part cheers me up somewhat.
I will treat those corridors of rehab like a catwalk.