Last Night

My operation is 6am tomorrow. It finally feels real now. Every time I think about I can feel a flicker of panic flood my body and I feel slightly ill.

I am worried about that moment when I look down and see my leg; I’m terrified of the drugs and waking up to hallucinations. It just feels like knowingly taking a bad pill and who wants to do that?

It really is like waiting in line to ride The Buzzsaw at Dreamworld for the first time. I’m next in line and I can hear the screams of the previous riders. I can see the ride and feel the panic rising.

All day I have tried not to let my fears slip to my parents or my friends who have called to wish me well for tomorrow. I simply laugh and smile and try to bury the terror that is lurking within me.

It’s nearly time to get on that ride.

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